I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
