Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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