Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
