she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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