i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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