I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
