forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
