she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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