Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
