I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
porn star boner night. come get it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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