my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
