Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
