Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
they're like a gay fantastic four
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
