I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
