Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
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