Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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