When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
