remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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