I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
