Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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