I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
only you would photoshop your dick
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
