i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
