hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
