How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
