just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
