If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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