After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
