I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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