five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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