Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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