Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
