Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
