i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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