yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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