careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
