I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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