I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
