Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
