but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
