Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
