Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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