there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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