Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize