I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize