youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
This house was built for laser tag.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
