dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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