So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
