Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
