Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
