I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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