Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize