suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
