you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
