I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
they're like a gay fantastic four
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
