Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
