Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
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