I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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