Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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