Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
