If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
