i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
