Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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